randomphilosophy:

Lately I have been wondering how my relationships with men have changed me. I realize that when it comes to guys I am a bit of a shapeshifter. It seems sometimes like I don’t have a true identity of my own but instead tend to mold myself around however I am with. I become interested in certain…

randomphilosophy:

I cant sleep right now because I just read that we will no longer be able to serve breakfast in the local shelter we work with. I cant imagine what it feels like to go to bed hungry not out of choice but of neccesity. About a week ago I read about a food ban that Bloomberg had passed that will…

So I decided since i kind of halted the blogging thing that I will connect it to my word of the day. I have a goal of learning 200 words as part of my 43 things. 43 Things is a goal tracker that helps you fulfill your dreams. I already completed one of completing a novel in 30days although i would say it is hardly complete. Everything starts somewhere. Anyways today’s word provided by webster’s dictionary word of the day is Supererogation which is the act of performing more that is required by duty, obligation or need. Somehow this word struck me today partly because it is the craziest season at my job and i feel like I often try to go above and beyond to make others happy but this also got me thinking of how supererogation refers to love.

The explanation tells me that the term began to refer as a way to describe acts that were beyond those needed for salvation. As most of you know in medieval times the sale of indulgences was common and therefore one essentially paid for salvation. But God’s love is so tremendous that he doesnt require anything to save us because honestly that sort of payment cannot be quantified. But in addition to God’s love I thought about the way that I loved others. Most people have said that I love too much, too soon and too blindly. Particularly my mother which always says that I pour out my heart and soul and then I am left empty because I have nothing else to give. She claims my relationships failures were due to a unbalance between loving others and loving myself. Though I agree with my mother I know that I have also loved selfishly at times, conditionally at most and definitely always ephemerally.

I dont love myself enough this is true neither do I really love God as much as I like to believe. If i did I would trust that God knows what is best for me and that I must love myself enough to take care of the body God has lend me. But supererogation this act of going beyond what is needed gets to me. How is there such a thing as too much love? How do we measure when it has gone beyond need? When people become crazy and do stupid things in the name of love why do we pretend that this is supererogation that it is in fact true love? Madness is not a prerequisite of love neither is it always the result. Becoming obsessed with someone is not going beyond need or obligation.

When i think about Gods love as an example of supererogation i think that his love is rational. He had a reason to die (because he wanted to save us) not just a rebel without a cause. His love was not a spur of the moment (it was planned since creation) and his love was certainly not conditional. How many instances have there been of supererogation? what the definition needs to specify is that supererogation is doing more than is required by society. Society does not demand much at times but God exists in a supereroguous(haha love making up words) universe where every action he does for us is beyond need.

I think we ought to act this way maybe it is looked down upon because loving so much is the punks way but loving otherwise is not loving at all. Everything we do should be an act of supererogation. I thought i loved once…I could say I loved him in the human way possible. A flawed temporal and emotional kind of love though I can argue a part of me still loves him I have for the most part forgotten him. I have for the most part  not loved him unconditionally. I certainly havent given my life for him and dont know if truly came down to it i would.

My love for you is not simply an act of supererogation. It cannot be measure by human expectation. My love can never go beyond my need because my need IS to love you beyond measure. It cannot excel obligation because I am not obliged, I am free. No sense of duty binds me to thee but yet I do not flinch to test the limits of my patience, to test the boundaries of my devotion. I do not have to love you but I do. I endlessly (and so it seems to this day), that I do. Freely and deeply, I do. I cannot go beyond this act of love for how can one go beyond love? You cannot make me love you, but I do. I do, and there is no beginning, middle and end. I love you and I dont know how much but I do. I love you simply because I can.

So only about 1/8 into my reading I surrendered and stopped reading the bible. I often pondered what it is that makes me not want to read it. I mean it is interesting (with the exception of numbers those generation counts are a doozie) and I cannot even use the excuse of time. I found time to write a novel in thirty days but i can’t read the bible in 90? It is because I have a problem with completing things…so here we go one more try. Although i read all the way to end of numbers, I want to start where i left off on the blog with Genesis 21.

Genesis 21

Sarah was in a better mood since she now had a son…Her baby daddy was 100 yrs old. That is so crazy. In this chapter we see why God only intended one woman and one man. Abraham is having severe baby mama drama to the point where Sarah sends Hagar away. But God is a fair God he does not neglect Hagar when she cries out to him because God loves and hears ALL his children.

Genesis 22

So God is testing Abraham here severely.

Chapter 12

So Abraham pretends Sarai is his sister. What a jerk. She gets to end up taken by the guys and then he saves his own skin. Not only that but he gets presents as a result of it. Im glad God gave him a shoutout.

Chapter 13

Abraham and Lot part the land and Lot clearly took the best part. I think that is why God blessed Abraham because he was humble in this aspect. I noticed also that everytime there is a migration an altar is built to God, as a witness to the only God to all passerby. It is a symbol of Gods authority and the spreading of his influence.

Chapter 14

Never paid much attention to this story about Lot being taken from Sodom and held captive. Abraham is one loyal friend he goes and gets Lot from captivity possibly risking his own life.

Chapter 15

God tells Abraham not to worry that he will have heirs. Its funny that the Bible says he believed this but somehow he found it to difficult to believe he was going to take possession of the land, God had to give him a dream for that one. It says that his descedants were to be mistreated for 400 yrs that is a long time to see Gods promise.

Chapter 16

This one is all about Sarah’s bright Idea to give Hagar to Abraham. I cant imagine Abraham was complaining. She does this but then she decided to blame Abraham. I also feel like God was asking a lot of Hagar. I mean he told her to go back and submit to Sarah. Here was this pregnant chick already a servant and now she had to be humiliated by this lady. I found it funny that ismael is described as a wild donkey of a man. HAHAH

Chapter 17

God changes Abraham’s name and makes a pact with him. God loves covenants. He then asks that all males be circumcised. Ouch!! Perhaps circumcision is the physical evidence of Gods chosen. It  marks Jews for generations to come.

Chapter 18

Abraham was so hospitable feeding three strangers. Ok I respect Abraham a bit more now. It was like the third time that God tells Abraham he will have a child and still he seems hesistant.

Also why did God put up with Abraham’s negotiations why didn’t he just say this is how many people are going to be saved and that is final. It seemed like God was testing his character.

Chapter 19

So the men of Sodom tell Lot that they want to know the men carnally basically sleep with them. Oh man those dudes were horny. They didnt want lots daughters they wanted the men! So much so that they were trying to push open the door and the angels had to blind them.

It was also interesting that the opportunity was given to the daughter’s husbands to follow Lot out of the city but they laughed at him. I cant say I was not disturbed by the whole sex with daddy incident. That is disgusting. I think it also showed a lack of faith in their part because there were other towns and other people in them.

Chapter 20

Once again Abraham claims Sarah is his sister now in front of Abimelech. Poor guy had no idea. Here God shows he is a reasonable God. Abraham tried to twist the truth because Sarah was his half sister but the Bible is showing us how God feels about half truths. The thing that seemed a little harsh was that God halted the womb of every woman in Abimelech’s house until he returned Sarah. It seems a bit harsh.

Whoa what a whirlwind. I begin with the beginning.

Genesis 1

So chapter 1 begins with the creation of the world and we see God is busy separating the day and night and heaven and earth and all the other. My first impression is wow the earth must have been a real hot mess. So God is here dedicating seven days to creating the earth and all that is in it. No biggie for the almighty God. Is so interesting that this first chapter is focusing exclusively in what is going on in earth and not necessarily the universe. We are God’s special people.

The order in which God creates things is impressive. Why the separation of water and day and night. Could you imagine what it would be like if God created animals without a division of earth and sea? Why day and night first though? I dont know.

Another thing that struck me was the use of the word us. “Let us” implies more than one individual. The creation of mankind was a collaborative process. The first chapter goes on and on about how God created everything but when it comes to creating man it uses the word “Us” and the phrase “in our image.”

Another thing is God put man in charge of the beasts and what not. Why on earth would God do that? What was his purpose for this? I believe that while God certainly had it under control he allowed man to participate in stewardship because he wanted us to understand his relationship with mankind. The bible says that Adam even named the creatures. How cool is that?

God certainly did not have to evaluate what he had done because he is perfect yet the bible said God saw that it was good.

After God created man he ordered him to multiply. This is the first instance where this is found.

Chapter 2

Ah the beauty of the sabbath. God meant for us to have a day of rest. He hallows it and blesses it.

I think its beautiful that God sees that man was alone and gave him a companion. God designed us so that we could be alone but he knew life would just be lonely without one so he created for man a partner that will help Adam. Why the rib though?

Chapter 3

That evil serpent was such a liar!! but he had a point kind of. God could have forgiven mankind without any punishment and the devil knew that.

Also what tempted the woman was not the fruit but the idea that she could become like God. This has been mankind’s dilemma since the beginning of time. We always want to know it all.

I like the way God catches man, “Who told you that you were naked?” AHA! he got you there Adam! Adam blames woman, woman blames snake, snake blames God. Everyone is in on the blame game. So there is apparently a reason why we suffer pain as women. Here it is plain simple. We have been cursed. Sorry ladies. And as humans we have been cursed to die something God never intended for us.

So verse 21 says Garments of skin. Sounds very much silence of the lambs. Why did God  do this? I read somewhere that it was a reminder of death for Adam and Eve. You think about this…

Why did God have to put a flaming sword guard in the entrance of Eden?

Chapter 4

Cain and Abel- beginning of sibling rivalry. Something that i am confused about is the reason why God looked down upon the sacrifice of Cain but it is very specific about Abel’s offering. He had brought the very best to God. I for one, sympathize a bit with Cain. We have all felt this way sometimes. Why him and not me oh Lord?

God still shows favor to cain. He says anyone that comes across him wont be able to hurt him. All that Cain had to do was ask! God likes cain after all.

Something I NEVER noticed before. Lamech had the nerve to ask the same thing! He kills someone and then all over poof God is supposed to avenge him. Oh how similar we are…

Chapter Five

Adam lived for 930 yrs! WHOA! Alll i noticed people lived really long time and they had kids really old. So much for my mother’s theory.

Chapter 6

Begins in a very interesting idea. So men were just walking marrying whoever they wanted. Taking and reaping. No wonder things turned out bad!

Gods heart was filled with pain. I almost cried when i read this. God shortens man’s life. He has to we are just so evil! God is very human here he is almost giving up but then he doesnt! There he is establishing a covenant. God seems to be partial to these!

I like that the chapter ends with Noah did EVERYTHING God commanded him. No matter how silly it seemed and im sure it seemed silly he did it.

Chapter 7/8

How did Noah feel about having all those animals in there?  Seems a bit stuffy? Why was that so important? Well animals were God’s creation too and he wanted to rescue them.

What struck me here was the number symbolism. Forty has been renowned as the number of transformation in the bible 40 days, etc. In exactly seven days isn’t that interesting God’s special number is when the bird is sent out and when the bird returns. Seven is all over the place..

Everything that was on the earth died but it says they took of every animal so clearly there were some who just didn’t make it. Why is that? Well maybe there weren’t meant to be.

Why did the bird return with an olive branch? Olives trees were short (good pointing that out Marilyn!) but they were also from temperate climates indicating earth is dry. HMMM but olives also are a powerful foreshadowing of whats to come with Jesus. Mount of Olives. Kazaam! Just my inside info.

Chapter 9

I think that God demanding a life for a life is an interesting concept. Nothing is done without sacrifice that is the big theme here. Here it is another covenant. It is so beautiful rainbows couldnt have picked a more awesome sign.

When I first heard about the 90 day bible challenge I laughed. I recalled many times where I started to read the bible early in the morning only to fall asleep right after the second chapter of reading. 90days? That is impossible! I can barely do it in one year. What am I thinking? I have never been able to do it in one year. What about those boring books must I read about who begat who and who died at what age? Does it really matter how old Adam was and how many wives did so and so have? Why are these books in the Bible? What purpose do they serve? The Facebook invitation made me feel guilty. It was like a call from up above? How can i refuse a Facebook invitation when i was so willingly to click that yes button for everything else? Sure, I will accept that mafia invitation and i will accept that new friend but can i make time every day for God? 16 chapters is a big commitment.

Is funny there is a real foul rap song out there that says that the rapper has 99 problems but well a whore is not one of them. This is mildly put of course, the real lyrics are much more vulgar. But this lyric made me think. I have 99 problems too but God is not one of them. He is my constant just like having a whore is the rapper’s constant. I decided I can find the solution to my problems in God’s word. You see God has provided it as a guidebook I firmly believe it. Everyday more and more people use the bible to instruct but also to misdirect and to take advantage. How am i to know the real message of the bible if i don’t dust it off and read it myself. So thus begins the 90 day journey. I am on day two and I have to say is like reading something I have never read before.

So what to expect from this blog? This is not a bible commentary. This is not some enlightening evidence that will answer all your questions. If anything the blog is meant to make you ponder.Sometimes the blog will include my feelings towards the characters, sometimes my observations and sometimes just my inquisitions. Each chapter I will engage in a brief outline. So since i will be away for two weeks there will be a period of time in which limited writing will be done but never fear like God’s mysteries all will be revealed in due time.